And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
