A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize