then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
