No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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