fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
