You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
