just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
