I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i believe in u and ur pee
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