This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
