Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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