Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
