Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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