pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
