i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
