my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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