my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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