Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
