Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
