This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think people are normalizing furries
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
