I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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