Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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