guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
