I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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