That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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