Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
