Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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