He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Farmville is her only friend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
