just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
