yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
