They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
