I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
