Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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