I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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