how can u be prego again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Found the puke drawer
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
