i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
