I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
