dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
