I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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