Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
