I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
