Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
