you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
