I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
