I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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