these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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