i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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