Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
