There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize