I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
