i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
