he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
