he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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