Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
