I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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