there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
