Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
