my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
