She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
