508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
