you told grandpa to call you daddy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
