hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
