FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
