And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
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