whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
