**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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