How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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