I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
