ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
