Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
