i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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