At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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