im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
