I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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